One of you greedy fools wished on the severed monkey paw. You were not supposed to do that, for it is cursed. And you wished for the Cubs to win one lousy World Series, just one, without thinking of the repercussions. They won that World Series, but now you’re wondering if the phrasing just one constitutes a legal monkey-paw technicality.
The question at hand is if the modern game has gone too far. Verducci bemoans the lack of action between the homers and whiffs, and he isn’t alone. My former boss spent many thousands of words on the same complaint and that was before the strikeout rates went truly bonkers around the league.
If you want to distill everything into a crude sentence, here you go: Baseball is getting dumber. The dumb is being obscured by numbers spin rates, exit velocities, launch angles but it’s still obvious. Throw ball HARD. Hit ball HARD. If ball not hit hard, player in TROUBLE, but chance to hit ball HARD always come around again. This is disconcerting, I agree.
And yet, holy heck, did you see Bellinger’s home runs? The dude whips his bat through the zone with an uppercut that makes it look like every third frame was removed from the video. It’s not dumb. It’s art. It’s a delicate ballet, a triumph of the nervous system over physics.
Sometimes it’s right to stare at different FanGraphs pages and pretend you understand what linear weights to tweet you, and sometimes it’s right to point at a low batting average and say, THAT BATTING AVERAGE SHOULD BE HIGHER. This is time for the latter.